Baby Jail Graduation

Posted on June 7, 2019February 9, 2021 by Tayla

The crib. A genius invention for caging our wild little goblins aka our children. Baby jail works well for many families….. until it doesn’t. Whether its a new baby coming, an acrobatic escape ninja, outgrowth or just the right time, transitioning to a big bed can be scary for parents and for our little ones. It’s a big change and does take some thought. As a Pediatric sleep consultant and a mother of two goblins who have flawlessly transitioned to big boy beds I feel the need to share my knowledge and experience. Timing! This is the first step. Don’t rush it!!!! If the baby jail is still doing it’s job and your little one is happy and physically fits then leave them! On the flip side of that, if you have a baby that likes to relive the Shawshank redemption every night you may need to make some adjustments. I usually recommend waiting until a baby is mentally capable of handling the freedom of a whole room and able to understand rules and boundaries. This age is typically 2.5-3 years old but as parents you know your child best! If your baby is an escape artist before this age I always suggest moving them to a high level security prison before moving to a big bed if you feel they aren’t ready. How to do this? Take the bottom part of your crib out completely and put the mattress directly on the floor. This usually adds a few needed inches. Now if your prison break baby still gets out, well it’s time. Just like any big change it’s best to prepare and build up the excitement before the big day. I talk about the importance of doing this with potty training, going to school, the dentist etc. Kids are more intelligent then I think we give them credit for. As adults we appreciate the heads up for big change, kids are the same. They need time to process what this all means to them, sort out their feelings and ask questions. Once you have a date in mind start the build up at least one week prior but also not too far in advance or they may loose interest. Prepare for the big day! As part of the excitement and build up include your little one in some of these big changes. Have them help you pick out new bedding, or have them help you put the new bed together. We want them to feel like the change isn’t something that is happening to them but rather a change they are making themselves! After all this is a first step towards real independence that will build their confidence for years to come! If your child doesn’t have a lovey this would be a great time to have them help you pick one out. Usually something soft is best. Non interactive, nothing that needs batteries and definitely not a “toy”. Be sure to keep their lovey in the bed. This gives them something to look forward to at bedtime. Also don’t wash it often! I know that sounds gross but as someone who had a lovey until age 8 I know for a fact that most loveys develop a distinct smell. If I were to make an educated guess I would say it’s the smell of dried spit. The feel and smell of the lovey is what provides comfort, so don’t wash it away. When my boys have colds they complain about not being able to smell their loveys! Case in point. Have your child help you make a sleep chores chart. Just like potty training. Children are visual and tactile learners so having them help you create a chart with things like “brush teeth, put on pjs, sleep all night” will encourage them to meet goals. Buy some stickers and have them be a part of validating the accomplishment of each goal.

Have a good bedtime routine!!!! Timing is important as most children get a second wind after 8pm. Also be mindful of screen time. All electronics (tv, I pad, phones etc) eliminate blue light rays and blue light directly inhibits the release of melatonin. Melatonin is the hormone that makes us feel sleepy. I recommend cutting blue light at least one hour before bed. Bath every night is important! Children love baths so it creates a positive association with bedtime. A nice warm bath also helps to relax the body and increase our body temp. Why does this help us fall asleep?! Because your body temperature increases in deep sleep, which takes energy and time to do. If it’s already increased a little that’s less work your body has to do. Keep bath short (dont want the water to get cold and definitely don’t want your goblins to turn into gremlins before bed). If your worried about dry skin don’t use soap every night! Keep your routine short. From bath to lights out. If it’s long then you run the risk of hyperactivity or worse negotiations. One story not five, make sense? You also want this routine to be enjoyable for your whole family. If it’s causing you or your child anxiety the night will not go well or hasn’t been for some time I would guess. You want to end your day with love, laughter and kisses. Not yelling, crying or tantrums.

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Here’s a list of a few things you may consider purchasing before the big day!

Blackout blinds and a noise machine
A Gro clock or my favorite the Zazu sleep sheep.
A gift for the first morning your independent little human sleeps through the night.
A gate for the door or you could just turn the door knob around so that it locks from the outside!

Gasssp!!!!! I can hear parents as I write this saying “oh hell no!” I’m going to share some shocking information with you. Locking your child in their room is no different then putting them in baby jail. All your doing is creating an “extended crib”. Their crib is a safe place and their room needs to be as well. Once your little one is sleeping well you won’t need to lock them in! Also if there ever was an emergency you would know exactly where your children are. Often during fires children panic and hide which makes it difficult for parents or fire fighters to locate them. Remove anything that isn’t safe as well as interactive toys, books, really anything they can entertain themselves with.

Now let’s talk about fears of the dark and keeping that door shut. Do not play into fears of the dark or monsters. It is important to recognize that they have these feelings but do not make the mistake of making monster spray or looking in closest or under beds to show them there aren’t any monsters. You just looking will make your kids think there is a reason you had to look, they do exists! It’s important to in force that their room is a safe place. A place they can enjoy and be comfortable alone. If you need to use a nightlight use a warm tone light. Hughes of yellow, orange or red as these lights do not inhibit melatonin release. It’s important to keep the door shut. Not only to keep your little human inside but also for safety reasons. As a fire fighter I can say with confidence that doors protect you in the night in case of a fire. They protect you from deadly smoke and can slow the spread of fire.

You’ve done the build up, prepared the space, perfected the routine and now it’s lights out. This is were a lot of families struggle. I could lay out exactly what to do next but I would never make any money! I cant give away all my secrets. What I can say is that if you need help beyond what I have laid out here please contact me! I have helped many many families and it’s so rewarding making a huge change in someone’s life. I would be honored to help yours if you need the support. Don’t down play how important sleep is. Parents think it’s normal to struggle with sleep but it’s not. My children love sleep! Not only do they get the amount of sleep they need for growth and development but supporting them while they gained this independence has provided them with confidence in many other endeavors and life skills.

I have transitioned both of my boys with great success and I truly believe it’s because I followed these steps and I made them feel loved and supported through the process of change. From night one of being in a big boy bed they have slept 730-730! With consistency, preparation and potentially outside support you too can have a confident child that not only enjoys sleep but values the boundaries that surround bedtime.

Turn your Shawshank baby into a child that stays in their bed all night! Your gremlin into a gizmo ready for snuggles with his lovey in bed. Your crib roaming baby into a confident little boy or girl who loves bedtime! If I can do it you can do it! If my boys can do it your kids can do it! With love and support we can teach our kids anything, including how to sleep.